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Quit bugging me!Now look what you've done!You've uncovered meZounds!Good God man!See here old chap.Egad!My monacle's off to you!Gee willikers!You're a hard man, Holmes.Yikes!Golly Gosh!My hats off to youThis ain't no discoI'll give ya a hint.(Cough. Wheeze.) Try this on.Here's a little tip. Gimme a break(Burp!) Lay off man.Ribbit. RibbitI ain't gonna burn man.You've taken my breath away(Meltdown) Chicken Kiev anyone?Look Pal,Get a haircut!Are you kidding?Look fella, Well, uh, uhTake it easy, man.Lighten up, willyaGet off my case.Is that my mommy calling?Think I need a stiff drink(Sniff) (Gulp!) *8FTz?jIf  is,If  is,If'srj F,j ,If kills in k.. .guilty party.k..body. 's.k.$. will not cause death. itY F.k F. involved.k .location.kmurderY kL a tonight! Rspill8kL! Rdie8Lr!L$!k roomLscene.Rstain  room! deathRvisit ! a lifeRend in !  the killervictimweapon won't be at midnight! roomRbe will won't happen in then done withdeed blood the I can't say any more! Goodbye.   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IISwam English Channel, '36Hosted Top of the Pops, '74-'75Only woman shot down by Red Baron, '16One of original Dam Busters, '43Limps because of old shrapnel woundBatted 101, not out vs. Australia, '53Coached England to last World Cup soccer titleCaptain of the winning Oxford crew vs. Cambridge, '08Assistant Empress of India, '97Composed Treaty of VersaillesReal name: Tammy Claudette BelewMarried 6 weeks to bandleader Xavier Kumquat (deceased)Married 4 weeks to painter Pablo Poughkeepsie (deceased)Married 2 weeks to diet docter Herman Tarbaby (deceased)Married 1 week to director Otto Harbinger (deceased)Racy autobiography Fire Down Below was best sellerSpends just like a sailorWill star in tv miniseries based on own tragic lifeDoesn't stand in line at discosFond of deposed dictatorsHas appeared 4 times on Lifestyles of the Rich and WidowedClaims to be 29On 10 best-dressed list, '83On 10 worst-dressed list '84Runner-up, make up competition, Battle of the Network HeiressesRaises black widow spiders3rd to Golda Meir, Mother Teresa, World's Most Admired Woman, '75Honorary chairperson, American Society of WidowsNext book: How to Bury a MillionaireNever waits till dinner at 8Favorite film: The Bride Wore BlackClaims to have dated Warren BeattyHas appeared in ads for Gardening Safety CouncilAll 4 husbands died in unexplained gardening accidentsBusiness sideline: designer funeral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, TexasWas spectator on playing fields of EtonCarries spare Swiss Army knifeHas 20-20 visionSpeaks Latin in restaurantsTraces ancestry back to Ethelred the UnreadyWrites with quill penFavorite meal #1: Spam with beansQuote: "Old school ties are the ties that bind."Favorite expression: "Uh, oh, uh, uh, uh..."Ideal of beauty: Princess Anne in jodphursRefers to America as "the colonies"Favorite sport: shooting small mammalsDeclared unfit even for military serviceSuffers from chilblains and agueFirst book: Blood on the Scones97% of body has never been exposed to sunlightLeast successful book: Last Exit to EsherAuthor of The Sidcuppe Pruning Shears MassacreHas had upper lip surgically stiffenedRan 12th in '79 grand national; his horse came 21stFavorite performers: Sir Benny Hill, Lord Sid JamesSecret fantasy: to muss Margaret Thatcher's hairClaims to have been "sixth Beatle"Lives with his mother, Lady Mavischildhood nickname: NancyFavorite exercises: queue-jumping, wadingHobbies: slug breeding, writing Limericks in Greekral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, TexasHas problem perspirationWears Odor-EatersChildhood nickname: "Oinker"Weighty mind in a weightier bodyWardrobe by Mr Big FellaGourmet, gourmandWill drink anything that flowsThinks Certs is a candy mintHas houseboy named RickyGrows and eats rare orchidsHas 36 Siamese catsEnjoys opera, ballet, mud wrestlingLast saw his feet in '49Has never been in a phoneboothHas Olympic-sized hot tubBuys Bain de Soleil in the 20-gal. drumSecret ambition: to dance like Zizi JenmaireLost weight on Orson Welles dietDrives Rolls Royce Silver CrowdGreatest fear: being out of doorsAccidentally declared World Belly Flop champ, '75Pet peeve #1: The thin manPlaced on World Smorgasbord Association hit list, '52Has more chins than Hong Kong phonebook1st book: The Salad Bar MurdersAutobiography: Just DessertsCaused total eclipse of the sun, Miami Beach '78Favorite Western: Pig-Out at the OK CorralWorld Mollusc-eating champ '48-'82d nickname: NancyFavorite exercises: queue-jumping, wadingHobbies: slug breeding, writing Limericks in Greekral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, Texas!Drummed out of P.S. 13 in 3rd gradeDrummed out of parking control officer collegeHas tattoo ("Mom") on right bicepDrummed out of security guard collegeWears elevator shoesTypes with two fingers (not his own)Even orders quiche hardboiledKeeps mickey of Old Bus Driver in glove compartmentAlways packs a pieceThinks Rambo is a wussyPartial to blondesPartial to redheadsDrummed out of St. Swithin's OrphanageDrives maroon '51 PackardSpiritual beliefs: Elvis will return slimmed downCan't swimSleeps with hat onOpposes designated hitter ruleAccidentally married same woman twicePet peeve: alimonySpent last vacation in South BronxDrummed out of Boy ScoutsPast president John Wayne fan clubExercise regimen: walks a mile for a camelSecret vice: Julie AndrewsSecret vice: peanut butter banana sandwiches (no crusts)Secret vice: pyjamas with feetSleeps with night lightWriter's credo: Type first, think laterSecret fear: anything with 4 legs or moreHobbies: gun cleaning, hat blockingSecret ambition: to climb every mountainWhat he thinks there's nothing like: a dameImelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, Texas(]6:>BFJJJJJIt was silver in pittsburg.This was a great demo.You don't like Meanstreet.He set your room on fire.Your room is on fire.You have important clues in your room.This line is meaningless.This line is close but not quite.Pick the line of textthat best demonstratesyour knowledge of the suspectin relation to the mystery.   -  [ Claudia: "There is another meeting at 2:30 in the library."Peter: "Watch now as we set up to record it.""The first thing to do is read your files. Learn about your suspects.""Now, break into all the suspects rooms as soon and as fast as you can.""After you have the meeting times set your tape up to record meetings or monitor them directly.""After you've gotten the break-in clues and overheard the meetings, call suspects and try to break them down. Watch their faces, you know you're onto something when they react.""Peter reacted to all the questions and once he became nervous his answers contained more clues! Now review your notes.""Now call the murderer and confront her. Be sure to call before midnight." To break into this room youhave to:sit and stareanswer incorrectlygo fly a kiteanswer correctlyIn this room there are importantclues and appointments. That's how it works. First youread the files, do the break-ins andwatch the meetings. This shouldgive you some suspicions. Then you interrogate. Try to break the suspect down by asking about the people, weapons and rooms that are relevant to the mystery. Watchtheir faces for reactions whenyou're on to something.When you've got the motive, victim,weapon and place worked out, calland accuse the murderer in order towin the game.!:*:=2~#2~#2""SS!UN"v*N7*-,.2%" | 81 :_! zO! {O* Press FIRE to continue OR Demo in 19 seconds       Spectrum conversion by Steve Ward also Amstrad to follow. To whom it may concern, There was no room in the program so I had to put this here. Short history follows... (Musical Interlude..) 87, "The Wall?" (Commodore & ST versions?) 87, Speccy & Amstrad "Killed Until Dead" 86, Speccy & Amstrad "Silent Service" 86, Speccy, Amstrad & Commodore "Mission Omega" 85, Speccy, "Nick Faldo's Golf" 85, Speccy+part Commodore "Give My Regards to Broadstreet" 84, Speccy "Cloak of Death" (who?) 84, Dragon "Pedro" Yeah! 84, Dragon "Android Invaders" 84, Dragon "Picture Puzzles" Not bad for an 'unknown' eh?W Wears bullet-proof tweedAlways wears sensible shoesPet peeve: singles barsMotto: "Try a little tenderness."Has written 1,086 mysteriesEveryone has seen her play, "The Lemming Trap" at least twice.Accidentally wrote same novel twiceFirst book: Blood Orgy in East CheamMost successful book: Lust in LutonDrinks 3 hogsheads of tea dailyAuthor of Arsenic and Old SweetmeatsAuthor of Bank Holiday: The Final ChapterWears Midnight in Maldon CologneHer bun is a recognized bird sanctuaryBorn at the age of 41Placed 3rd, Horse of the Year ShowToured with Ian Dury and the Blockheads, '81Won Nobel Prize for Tweed, '28Sided with Rockers vs. Mods, '56Played Isle of Wight Pop Festival, '73Invented tweed miniskirtWas French sympathizer in W.W. IISwam English Channel, '36Hosted Top of the Pops, '74-'75Only woman shot down by Red Baron, '16One of original Dam Busters, '43Limps because of old shrapnel woundBatted 101, not out vs. Australia, '53Coached England to last World Cup soccer titleCaptain of the winning Oxford crew vs. Cambridge, '08Assistant Empress of India, '97Composed Treaty of VersaillesReal name: Tammy Claudette BelewMarried 6 weeks to bandleader Xavier Kumquat (deceased)Married 4 weeks to painter Pablo Poughkeepsie (deceased)Married 2 weeks to diet docter Herman Tarbaby (deceased)Married 1 week to director Otto Harbinger (deceased)Racy autobiography Fire Down Below was best sellerSpends just like a sailorWill star in tv miniseries based on own tragic lifeDoesn't stand in line at discosFond of deposed dictatorsHas appeared 4 times on Lifestyles of the Rich and WidowedClaims to be 29On 10 best-dressed list, '83On 10 worst-dressed list '84Runner-up, make up competition, Battle of the Network HeiressesRaises black widow spiders3rd to Golda Meir, Mother Teresa, World's Most Admired Woman, '75Honorary chairperson, American Society of WidowsNext book: How to Bury a MillionaireNever waits till dinner at 8Favorite film: The Bride Wore BlackClaims to have dated Warren BeattyHas appeared in ads for Gardening Safety CouncilAll 4 husbands died in unexplained gardening accidentsBusiness sideline: designer funeral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, TexasWas spectator on playing fields of EtonCarries spare Swiss Army knifeHas 20-20 visionSpeaks Latin in restaurantsTraces ancestry back to Ethelred the UnreadyWrites with quill penFavorite meal #1: Spam with beansQuote: "Old school ties are the ties that bind."Favorite expression: "Uh, oh, uh, uh, uh..."Ideal of beauty: Princess Anne in jodphursRefers to America as "the colonies"Favorite sport: shooting small mammalsDeclared unfit even for military serviceSuffers from chilblains and agueFirst book: Blood on the Scones97% of body has never been exposed to sunlightLeast successful book: Last Exit to EsherAuthor of The Sidcuppe Pruning Shears MassacreHas had upper lip surgically stiffenedRan 12th in '79 grand national; his horse came 21stFavorite performers: Sir Benny Hill, Lord Sid JamesSecret fantasy: to muss Margaret Thatcher's hairClaims to have been "sixth Beatle"Lives with his mother, Lady Mavischildhood nickname: NancyFavorite exercises: queue-jumping, wadingHobbies: slug breeding, writing Limericks in Greekral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, TexasHas problem perspirationWears Odor-EatersChildhood nickname: "Oinker"Weighty mind in a weightier bodyWardrobe by Mr Big FellaGourmet, gourmandWill drink anything that flowsThinks Certs is a candy mintHas houseboy named RickyGrows and eats rare orchidsHas 36 Siamese catsEnjoys opera, ballet, mud wrestlingLast saw his feet in '49Has never been in a phoneboothHas Olympic-sized hot tubBuys Bain de Soleil in the 20-gal. drumSecret ambition: to dance like Zizi JenmaireLost weight on Orson Welles dietDrives Rolls Royce Silver CrowdGreatest fear: being out of doorsAccidentally declared World Belly Flop champ, '75Pet peeve #1: The thin manPlaced on World Smorgasbord Association hit list, '52Has more chins than Hong Kong phonebook1st book: The Salad Bar MurdersAutobiography: Just DessertsCaused total eclipse of the sun, Miami Beach '78Favorite Western: Pig-Out at the OK CorralWorld Mollusc-eating champ '48-'82d nickname: NancyFavorite exercises: queue-jumping, wadingHobbies: slug breeding, writing Limericks in Greekral wearHas had everything liftedHers makes Imelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, Texas!Drummed out of P.S. 13 in 3rd gradeDrummed out of parking control officer collegeHas tattoo ("Mom") on right bicepDrummed out of security guard collegeWears elevator shoesTypes with two fingers (not his own)Even orders quiche hardboiledKeeps mickey of Old Bus Driver in glove compartmentAlways packs a pieceThinks Rambo is a wussyPartial to blondesPartial to redheadsDrummed out of St. Swithin's OrphanageDrives maroon '51 PackardSpiritual beliefs: Elvis will return slimmed downCan't swimSleeps with hat onOpposes designated hitter ruleAccidentally married same woman twicePet peeve: alimonySpent last vacation in South BronxDrummed out of Boy ScoutsPast president John Wayne fan clubExercise regimen: walks a mile for a camelSecret vice: Julie AndrewsSecret vice: peanut butter banana sandwiches (no crusts)Secret vice: pyjamas with feetSleeps with night lightWriter's credo: Type first, think laterSecret fear: anything with 4 legs or moreHobbies: gun cleaning, hat blockingSecret ambition: to climb every mountainWhat he thinks there's nothing like: a dameImelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, Texas eChoose a Difficulty Level: Elementary, my dear Watson Murder, Medium Rare Cases for the Cunning Super Sleuth Select a mystery. Press fire to begin.Choose another level Weight Watchers  Mars needs women  Beaujolais or Bust  Hold the Mustard Banana FolliesA Case for the Birds Fast Food Fight(Select a mystery. Press fire to begin.Choose another level  Publish or Perish  The Rat Trap  BlackmailOf Pooches and PillowsComputer Chronicles.Select a mystery. Press fire to begin.Choose another levelThe Case of the Mutilated Moose The Mystery of the Leaping Fish  Paint by Numbers Practical Pastimes A Stitch in time3Select a mystery. Press fire to begin.Choose another level Last Laff  Motherly Love  Rhymes and CrimesThe Scales of Justicenight lightWriter's credo: Type first, think laterSecret fear: anything with 4 legs or moreHobbies: gun cleaning, hat blockingSecret ambition: to climb every mountainWhat he thinks there's nothing like: a dameImelda Marcos' closet look like a Kinney'sClaims to have been born in ParisAuthor of Wake Me When It's OverFavorite song: Sometimes when we MulchReal birthplace: Paris, Texas y 4ANO-<Mike stole your school ties.Agatha ate the last of the oatmeal.Agatha served oatmeal for dinner.Your cucumber toffees ran out.Don't forget to buy new doilies.Don't believe in oatmeal?When are you meeting Stammer?Is that a piranha in your bathtubSo he calls you doll-face?Liz Taylor workout a little rough?Is that plant of yours a man-eater?So you sleep on leather sheetsWhen are you meeting Agatha?Is that horse of yours AC or DC?Got enough hotel silver in your room?I see Mumsy still knits your socks.So you've taken up Sumo wrestling?Did you finish that ton of chips?Is that Picasso for real?Who's your caterer, Paul Bunyan?Why did Agatha send you that note?Who gave you the Care Bears pyjamas?Why the switch to low-cal bourbon?I see your re-reading Dr. Suess. r      USydney: "Going without breakfast puts me in a murderous mood."Agatha: "It's the early bird that gets the worm--and the oatmeal, lard pants."Claudia: "What shall I do, Agatha? He can't keep his eyes off other women."Agatha: "My advice dear, is eat oatmeal for breakfast and never apologize."Peter: "Beastly behaviour at breakfast, wot?"Mike: "Wouldn't know, pal. I drank mine in my room."Claudia: "Still steamed over breakfast, Sydney?"Sydney: "That'll be the last time someone takes my share.""I suggest you open your files.""The lovers are quarrelling again.""Unless there's an apology, thesituation's bound to becomeexplosive.""She's in grave danger of going snap,crackle, pop.""Apparently it's true: an elephantnever does forget."          Who was Sam Spade's partner?Miles ArcherBarney MillerPaul DrakeHumphrey Bogart What was the first Mike Hammertitle?Mean StreetsI, the JuryThe Female EunuchI am Woman "Psycho" was based on the true caseof:Anthony PerkinsMarlin PerkinsJames StarkweatherEdward Gein What was used to simulate blood inthe "Psycho" shower scene?KetchupGrape Kool-AidChocolate SyrupSheep dip Who played the judge in the finalepisode of the Perry Mason TV show?Paul DrakeEllery QueenErrol Stanley GardnerLes Lye"Oatmeal: Breakfast of Champions."Note: "Meet Sydney in Hall at 3p."Note: "Meet Claudia in Library at4p."Copy of Joan Collins Workout Video.Photo of Mike Stammer signed:"Here's looking at you, doll-face."Note: Meet Sydney on patio at 5:30p.Closet full of old school ties.Fold-out of Princess Anne in fieldhockey uniform. Electric hobbyhorse.Note: Meet Mike in foyer at 4:30.Entire roast oxen. 30 lb. bag ofcucumber toffees. A hogshead ofDiet Pepsi. "The Anarchist'sHandbook."Note: "Claudia saw you flirtingwith the maid. She's frightfullymiffed", signed Flimsey.Bottle of Jack Daniels Lite.Food faddistHas a tattoo she's never seenDoes'nt understand Benny HillCan't stand greed... in othersLiver makes up half his body weight}~4DKVTlT>UyClaudia read your head and saw zero.Claudia bilked your neon shop.Claudia gave you a lousy prediction.Claudia panned "Mars Needs Women."How long has this been goin' on?Have you ironed your underwear?Got Schpott house broken yet?I notice your dog is Schpottless.Is that your schnauzer?Is that an original Rembrandt?So you turned up "Death!"Your Elvis shrine needs dusting.Does your C64 still work?Your mustache comb is missing.The family jewels look blue.Looks like you're broke.Finish that barrel of Pepsi?Been to the flicks lately?Has the Night Train ripened yet?How's the Perry diet going?So that nag Shinsplints won, eh?How are things in Guacamole?What's it all about, Alfie?Those 50-1 odds were great.  g ?    V  Peter: "That fraud. I should have had my head read."Sydney: "I've no complaints. She knew where to find that rare wine."Agatha: "Praise be to your crystal ball for saving my Schpott from a bit part in a sausage factory."Claudia: "If you don't stop him piddling on my cauldron he'll have a lead as a cocktail weenie."Mike: "Look, three outta four ain't bad."Claudia: "Yeah. But I never thought toffee nose would put his entire savings on that bomb!"Peter: "I'm ruined. You said you saw my name in lights."Claudia: "Well you should have opened a Neon shop, chump""Go to 'Break-In'. Be sure to gather every clue out of the suspects' rooms.""I noticed Peter was on the pistol range today.""Sydney will be meeting Peter in Peter's room at 5:00.""Who tells the fortune teller's fortune?""Peter's portfolio looks like Boone has been Picken.""Don't miss the Star Wars in Claudia's room at 7:00."         At about 370 a day, what country hasthe highest official murder rate?BelgiumBotswanaBrazilBulgaria What London murder mystery has beenplaying since November 25, 1952?Murder in the CathedralThe MousetrapLe morte d'ArthurDeath in the Afternoon In what year was guillotining bannedin France?1812188819141981 What does CID stand for?Central Interrogation Dept.Criminus Interuuptus Div.Criminal Investigation Dept.Central Intelligence Division What are the alleged odds of twopeople having the same fingerprints?64,000,000:164,000,000,000:16,400:164,000:1"Schpott" sleeping peacefully.Doggy diapers. K-9 Korpstraining tapes.Note: Meet Claudia, her room, 6p.Crystal ball. Tarot cards (deathcard turned over).Thank you notes from: Syd., Mike,Agatha.Note: Meet Mike, patio 6:30p.Reveiws of his play"Mars Needs Women":Times: "A cosmic stiff."News: "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988. Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary: "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms. Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the poniesP 6X,JR)=HZlMike wouldn't buy you BeaujolaisMike filled your chamberpot with oilMike insulted your ancestorsMike jilted youDid you knit the Prince's ear cosies?Your manuscript looks a little thin.Your photo collection is wonderful.So you collect Canadian money, eh?Are you happy with the hotel service?I hear you're seeing the bellhop?Could I borrow some food stamps?Your mink nightie looks smashing.Your wax lips are melting.Beaujolais tastes better than 10W30.Your brother made a superb mousse.I noticed you had a torn curtain.How's the sugar biz, lardo?Aren't you Mr. Creosote's brother?That Beaujolais should taste great.Did you get the Silver Crowd fixed?What are the odds on your race?So, I see you switched to menthols.Did you drink that breakfast?I like your Max Headroom imitation.        TAgatha: "Have you seen my Lady Di Chamber Pot?"Claudia: "The one with the big jug ears? No, I haven't."Peter: "Did you change the oil in your Ferrari?"Mike: "Yes. I used Agatha's Royal Chamber Pot."Sydney: "Agatha's in a royal snit about her Chamber Pot."Peter: "Uh. oh. Better warn Stammer cuz she's got a short fuse."Agatha: "You've soiled the dignity of the Royal Couple, you ghastly little man."Mike: "Ah shaddup! This race is more important than those two chumps.""I suggest you open your files.""If you need Help, call408-446-5757, ask for Mike.""Blood is thicker than oil.""If you want to 'uncork' this onedon't miss the 6p meeting in Mike'sroom.""Someone will be a no-show at theBeaujolais or Bust car race."       What is sometimes called"inheritance powder?"TalcumCurareCocaineArsenic Where does Perry Mason live?ClevelandLos AngelesNew YorkSan Francisco Where was Hercule Poirot born?in Brightonin a taxi cabin Greecein Belgium What is the name of Sherlock Holme'sbrother?LarryWatsonMycroftSoames What is the name of the "sinisterOriental" created by Sax Rohmer?OddjobCharlie ChanDr. Fu ManchuMr MotoMarmite. Corgi Teaset.Prince Charles Ear Cosies.Note: Meet Claudia in library at3:30p.Note: Meet Mike in his room at 6p.Gucci food stamps.Note: "Mike please pick me up a keg of Beaujolais.Latest book: "Wake me When it'sOver."Navigator's compass.Map of wine district.Note: Meet Mike at 4:30p, here.Book: "Who is Killing the GrapeChefs of Europe?!"Note: "Mike pick me up 12 casesof wine."Note: meet Peter on patio at 5:30p.Ferrari Testerossa key fob.Car tools. Diploma from Al UnserTech."Beaujolais or Bust" race entry.Staunch MonarchistFood snobWine afficianadoCordon Bleu ChefCar racing buff1988. Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary: "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms. Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the poniesO!Zsh=8&.QiPeter was blackmailing you.Peter was stealing your manuscripts.Peter stole your "weenies' Handbokk"Peter wanted your Smurf slippers.Have you rotated your Odor-Eaters?Is that matchmaking book useful?Is your perfume Eau d'Escargots?One of your goldfish is missing.How are the tango lessons coming?Are you in cahoots with Flimsey?Expecting an offer you can't refuse?How's your new car?Is that Mike's room key?So you're really a Moonie?Is that Boy Scout medal a forgery?So you used to date Princess Fergie?Do you wear leopard-skin shorts?Is it true you were known as Bubba?Is that Chateau de Bubble?What have you got under the rug?I see you read Soldier of Fortune?Are you and Claudia hot?Do you have grenades in your closet?It's about those slippers, Mike?   u   Sydney: "In my younger days, my dear, I could have had her for a song."Agatha: "The more carrots in your salad days, the fewer carats later on."Peter: "Those private vices of yours could cost you a lot of book sales."Mike: "Please don't Flimsey, I'll give you anything you want."Peter: "I should be in a position to take those diamonds off your hands."Sydney: "Too late, old boy. Love has the family jewels firmly in her grip."Agatha: "I've convinced that old hippo that it's going to take all the diamonds."Claudia: "Good work. The bigger my wedding present the bigger your commission.""If hearts aren't trumped bydiamonds, watch for a club and aspade.""We'll soon find out who the realwimp is""What glitters is not always gold.""Make sure there's a safety depositbox available tonight."        Who played TV private eyeRichard Diamonds's secretary?Meryl StreepPaul LyndeMary Tyler MooreShelley Winters Where did Neil Young "shoot hisbaby"?Right here in River CityIn the still of the nightOn Blueberry hillDown by the river One, two, three, who shot Mr. Lee?The supremesThe BobettesMrs. LeeThe Shangri-las Rasputin was murdered by being?Boiled in oilDrawn and quarteredPoisoned, shot twice and drownedTossed off a 10-story tower Arsenic poisoning in a corpse can bedetected by?analyzing the hair and nailsthe telltale green color of the toesa hideous, twisted smilethe strong smell of violets"Matchmaking for fun and profit."Binoculars. Infra-red camera.Note: "Meet Claudia in hallat 5:30p."Black wedding dress.Diary: "Thanks to Agatha, the rocks will be mine."Note: "Darling, come to my roomat 11p and I'll make your dreamscome true," signed 'S'.Copy of Mike's room key. Polaroidcamera. Thread samples. Vial oftea. Note: "Meet me in Agatha'sat midnight," signed, '?'.Note: Meet Agatha on patio at 4:30pFamily diamonds in velvet case.Champagne on ice, caviar.Note: Meet Agatha in Library, 3p.Bourbon bottle full of tea.Smurf slippers. Needlepoint,knitting. "The Weenies' Handbook."Note: Meet Peter in foyer at 3:30p.Mercenary in affairs of the heartLikes them pear shapedAchilles' heel expertLavish in loveLikes his eggs soft-boiledniesO h ,BRho Hxs6&?Mike won the Red Baron Award.Mike had the biggest banana.You wanted Mike's chimp Zippy.You needed McMonkey software.Are you going "Bananas?"I noticed you dog is incontinent.What! You liked Dune?How do the banana fritters taste?Don't forget Sydney in the foyer.Is Sydney meeting you in the library?Does your boa eat those things?Which endangered species is the coat?Do you believe in magic?Are all your ties clip-on?Why are you meeting Meanstreet?Second banana at award time, eh?Are there eels in your hovercraft?Did you miss meeting Flimsey?Is that a blancmange in your tub?Could you pass the chimp dip?What have you done with the Scissors?Are you meeting Claudia at 6p.?You got a pistol or a banana there?You got a little Zip in your writing? g   a   Claudia: "He's made a monkey out of all of us."Peter: "A permanent bedtime for Bonzo is the only solution"Sydney: "The time has come for a little gorilla warfare."Agatha: "How could you suggest such a thing you cruel man."Mike: "So they finally figured out I got a monkey on my back, eh?"Agatha: "You must guard that innocent little creature with your life."Sydney: "We're tired of being used by that typing primate."Claudia: "Get him in one of our rooms and stop his monkeyshines.""The law of the jungle shall prevail.""See monkey, do monkey.""Those baboons would kill the goose that lays the golden egg.""Agatha may try to get in the way."             Who was the announcer for the TVseries "Martin Kane, Private Eye."Clayton MooreWalter CronkiteIan BothamBasil Fawlty Who was Sherlock Holmes smarter,younger brother?Larry HolmesBaskerville HolmesGene WilderNo one Who was Perry Mason's sidekick?Andy DevinePaul DrakePaul ShaferEd McMahon What did Nero Wolfe do forexercise?Shallow BreathingBackgammonDartsCrack his knuckles "We may be rats, crooks andmurderers but we're Americans":The Richard Nixon StoryGod Bless AmericaThe Reagan PapersSeven Miles From AlcatrazRoller Skates. King Kong Poster.Curious George books. Monkeywrench. Unicycle. Videos ofWoody Allen's "Bananas." "Tarzanof the Apes."Red Herring Award. 3rd place.Leg trap baited with banana fritter.Skinning knife. Vogue patternfor fur stole.Note: Meet Sydney-library at 6p.Red Herring Award, 2nd place.Strychnine-laced banana daiquiri.Receipt for plot at St FrancisPet Cemetery.Note: Meet Claudia in foyer at 5p.Red Herring Award, 4th place.Tape recording of female chimp.Carving set. Cuisinart.Spices. Chimp dip recipe.Note: Meet Agatha in lib. at 4p.Chimp named Zippy chained to desk.Banana PC with McMonkey software.Red Herring Award for "The BananaMurders."Note: Meet Agatha in Hall at 5p.Animal rights advocateFur wearing animalGreat White HunterDevours the competitionMinds his own monkey businessear shapedAchilles' heel expertLavish in loveLikes his eggs soft-boiledniesO m &- V=K6dIt's finger lickin' good.Of his sweet 'n sour spare ribs.He blew your boa away.He swiped your boa.Where did you get that golden egg?Is that a partridge in a pear tree?What do you have against Sylvester?Did you see a bird in the bush?Is your nest egg all stocks?You do some explosive reading!What do you call a female peacock?How do you feel about bald eagles?Do you listen to the mocking bird?Have you been robin banks lately?So you've spotted a rare sea raven?Eat quiche while bird watching?Have you been duck hunting?Are you planning a goose dinner?Eaten Chicken Kiev lately?I see you like to poach eggs.Do you ever use those duck calls?Do you type with chicken fingers?How about them Blue Jays?There were birds on the hill.     ' Claudia: "I hung my boa out to dry and when I returned only a few feathers were left."Peter: "Maybe it flew the coop."Claudia: "Someone will pay for this."Mike: "I bagged some weird kind of bird."Sydney: "You Dodo, you shot a boa."Mike: "I don't see no scales."Claudia: "Hey big boy. Would you like me to tuck you in your eiderdown?"Mike: "Sure I'd be tickled to death.""Check your files, bird brain.""She can be quite flighty. You'd best break into her room and his too.""Don't chicken out now. Keep an eagle eye on those 3 meetings-- listen to every chirp.""Even a featherweight dick would know it's time to make some calls and get those birds to lay some eggs."       Who confessed to killing Cock Robinand what was the murder weapon?goose/nooseparrot/garrotepullet/bulletsparrow/arrow Who played the private eye Sam Spadein the Maltese Falcon?Sydney GreenstreetHumphrey BogartPeter LorreDick Powell In 1819, how many offences werepunishable by death in England?112233222 The citizens of what U.S. state areleast likely to be murdered?IllinoisMichiganVermontMaryland Who played Norman Bates' mother inHitchcock's Psycho?Tony PerkinsJanet LeighVera MilesJane WymanDraft of story: "Sylvester Shouldbe Shot."Book: "Detonating Dynamite inDecoys."Note: Meet Mike here at 5:30.Clipping: "Real Men Watch Birds."Note: Meet Claudia, foyer, 3:30.Book: "How to Enjoy Italian StyleGoose."A pile of feathers and buckshot.French Duck Call collection.Note: Meet Sydney, library, 4:30.Her pet bird often says, "I tot I saw a puddy cat . . . I deed, I deedHas fine collection of feather hats and boasEats like a birdOwns shares in Lick-a-ChickWorked with Warners on the animated sex mystery, "Daffy the Peeking Duck."Eats birds, Believes birds of a feather should be flocked together: "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988. Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary: "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms. Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the poniesP2QY'% YHe would've ruined MucBurgers.He ate more than his share of burgers.He had a passion for oysters.He wore 5 day deodorant pads.Crazy glue prevents denture problems.Does fast food cause flatulence?Where were your teeth last night?Do MucBurgers stick to denture creme?Do you keep burgers in the boxes?Do you keep wigs in the boxes?Do you keep burgers in the wigs?Do you keep wigs in the burgers?I notice you plan to go out.I notice you plan to eat out.I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food?I see you eat a lot of MucBurgers.I see you watch the soaps.I see you wash with soap.I see your watch is soap.S   4 }Sydney: "I can't wait to improve the diet of the tasteless masses."Agatha: "Are you sure oyster and mung sauce burgers will stay down?"Mike: "You can't sell it. I'd never survive without MucBurgers."Peter: "There will still be MucBurgers but with an improved menu.Mike: "At least let me help taste test the new menu."Sydney: "Fine idea."Mike: "Good, meet you at 11:30 on the patio.""Where's the beef? In your files.""Be a MucBurgler--break in.""You deserve a break today. So monitor the fo-o-yer at 4 o'clock.""Call the uninvolved and confirm your suspicions, then call the guilty before the crime."    Name the U.S. "diet doctor" murderedby his lover, Jean Harris?Klaus von BulowDr Herman TarnowerDr SuessDr Marcus Welby Who has NOT played Philip Marlowein the movies?James GarnerElliot GouldRobert MitchumPaul Newman What private eye charges $25 a dayplus expenses.Rabbi David SmallSherlock HolmesPhilip MarloweMicky Spillane What is Miss Marple's first name?AgathaJaneMinnieRaquel Whose motto was "We Never Sleep"?PinkertonInsomniacs AnonymousScotland YardR.C.M.P.Crazy glue, dentures.Note: Meet Sydney at 3 in library.Wig boxes, wigs, crazy glue.Contract to sell his 51% holdingsof MucBurgers.Note: Meet Mike, hall, 3:30.Financial papers for purchase ofMucBurgers.Recipe for raw oyster burgers.Large pile of empty MucBurger boxes.Book: How the Great Chefs of EuropeWere Poisoned.Note: Meet Peter, 3:30, hall.Believes fast food is like politics--always comes up in conversationBelieves fast food is like slow sex--a long time comingAte 5 MucBurgers before realizing they came wrappedBelieves calories are a measure of flavorEats 3 meals 6 times a day at MucBurgers birds, Believes birds of a feather should be flocked together: "Begs the gorge to rise."Bankruptcy notice.Bottle of Chateau de Night Train,1988. Brick of Cheese Whiz withsoda crackers.Diary: "A toast to Claudia'scrystal ball."Race forms. Derby betting stubs on100-1 longshot named "Shinsplints."Sack o' money.Loves her dog SchpottPart-time clairvoyant/spiritualistLoves theatreKeen for rare winesPlays the poniesPUygX )o(V1E_Peter ate the oyster sauce.Peter was dating Claudia.Peter was grabbing all the promo $$.Peter was blackmailing you.I've read your 'Mollusk Murders.'Are oysters an aphrodisiac?So you got a new contract, eh?Is Schpott still lost?Are you experienced?Still pumping iron I see.Is that a SONY or a SANYO?Is that bullwhip licenced?Is that all there is?Who do you like in the Cup Final?Don't you like lemon curry?So you've dealt with Mr McFreeburg.Only 12 cases of oysters?Have you had Tuna Gargoyle yet?Is your contract up for renewal?You've eaten all the cheesetoast.Who's the doxie?Really, a grown man with a G. I. Joe?Are you afraid of the dark?Your socks are slipping.N T  U Mike: "I split a gut when I heard they had to split the promo dough."Sydney: "Well let's see who gets 'mollusked' over this one."Flimsey: "I'll kill before I split promo money with old oyster face."Sydney: "Flimsey! Would you really put the lady in 'pearless' danger?"Agatha: "Over my dead body. He'll spend my promo money on his fishwrap."Sydney: "Mother of peril. Don't be so hard-shelled about it."Agatha: "Well Peter can have it all. I've decided to retire."Claudia: "Say that again, a little louder, please."Claudia: "It's all here on tape. She's giving it up."Peter: "Lucky for her. The old Flimmer would have made short work of her.""Break into Peter and Agatha's rooms and bring them to their senses.""I wouldn't miss the 4p meeting between Claudia and Agatha.""Do you really think Agatha plans to shuck the whole thing?"      Which cop worked on the Honolulu PD?Charlie ChanDon HoMurph the SurfRicardo Tubbs One of Dick Tracy's nemesis was?Banjo EyesSkin HeadThe PenquinFlattop In "Chinatown" Jack Nicholson'snose is sliced by?Faye DunawayCharlie ChanRoman PolanskiJulia Child Who plays the one-eyed detectivein Columbo?Antony CyclopsSammy Davis Jr.Peter HathawayPeter Falk A moll is:a blind gophera blackjacka gangster's girlfriendfor pedestrians onlyContract with the McFreeburg DoubleAgency/Publishing Inc.Note: Meet Claudia, lib., 4p.Micro Japanese tape recorder.Bottle of Canal of Love Perfume.Note: Meet Peter in his room, 5.Letter to B. McFreeburg re:promo money on new contract.Diary: "Don't forget to meetMeanstreet in his room at 3.12 cases of oysters. Two airlinecourtesy bags.Note: Meet Agatha, patio, 3:30.G. I. Joe. Gumby. Latest Batmancomic.Note: Meet Sydney, foyer, 2:30.Loves fame and fortuneLoves trade gossipEnjoys promotional toursLoves eating oysters--unshuckedPublishes with Dell Pickle label_/=J]pG@Fgwfired you from "The Rat Trap"Sydney ate all the cheesecopied a John Cleese scriptwas blackmailing youAgatha Love your Spandex support hose.So you like to drive in comfort?Is that photo a horse or your husband?Do you feel the times are a-changin?How much is that doggy in the window?That's a great autograph collection.I didn't know you liked John Denver?Is that bullwhip licensed?How far is Tipperary?Who do you like in the Super Bowl?What's it like to be an actor?Don't you like black jelly beans?Is Flimsey mentioned in your diary?How much wood does a woodchuck chuck?Nice leather doilies ya got thereYou've eaten all the cheese.Who's on first?What have you done in your bidet?Do you know the way to San Jose?Is that award for Agatha?F  y + v  Sydney: "Thank god you ruined mythespian career, I wouln'thave become a mystery writer."Agatha: "I should have chosen you over that awful little Picklewhite."Claudia: "It's amazing--the Rat Trap opened Oct. 16,1952 and it's still on."Peter: "I was there that night. Despite what anyone says, Picklewhite was superb."Sydney: "Are all preparations for the midnight surprise complete?"Mike: "Yeah, we get A. in your room and give her what she deserves."Agatha: "How do you do Lord Peter, don't I know you from somewhere?"Peter: "I will answer that question, if you come to Sydney's at 11:30."Claudia: "Lord Peter suggests we meet in your room at 11:30 before surprising Agatha."Mike: "Whatever his Lordship wants. Then we'll surprise her at midnight.""Isn't it strange that AlfiePicklewhite vanished onOct 17, 1952?""She ended more than one careerin her day. Ask the fat man.""He reminded me of little AlfiePicklewhite. What does itmean?""There's something cheesey aboutthis whole affair."          Which match is incorrect?David Berkowitz/Son of SamJuan Corona/The Hillside StranglerJerry Lee Lewis/The KillerPeter Sutcliffe/The Yorkshire Ripper What colour beard did Bluebeard(Henri Landru) have?BlondeBlueBlackRed How many whacks did Lizzie Bordenactually give her parents?2132941 In the Steve Martin private eyespoof, what don't dead men wear?PlaidGaloshesCummerbundsMascara What percentage of murder victimsare known to their killers?80602510Keys to Rolls Royce. GuinnessBook of Records. Rare cheeses.Note: Meet Syd in lib. at 3p.Note: Meet Peter in hall, 4:30.Original Rat Trap program missingone cast member's autograph.Note: Meet Peter on patio at 3p.Bios. of Olivier, Guinness,Niven, Gielgud, Sid James.Receipt from Rare Cheese Shoppe.Scrapbook of theatre reveiws,dated 17-10-52.Champagne. Crackers. 36 rarecheeses. Cocktail napkins.Framed original poster for theRat Trap.Diary: "This Flimsey chap ringsa distant bell."Award for Agatha: "Longest RunningPlay."Diary: "Meet Syd in hall at 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatre zXkxbS5"You were being blackmailed by Mike.You are feeling peckish.You're having an affair with ClaudiaYou are blackmailing MikeI see you like velcro too.I like your cabbage patch collection.Could I borrow your tweed underwear?Your dustball collection is growing.Your duvet is charming.Your waterbed sprang a leak.The rowing team sends its best.Your room is a mess.May I borrow your hat blocker?Your mustache has melted.Are you writing a history of velcro?I see you collect daggers.Can you play some duke for me?I saw that crate of Oreos in your roomMr. Creosote was napping on your bed.Your bedroom window is broken.Someone ransacked your bedroom.Blackmail is a dirty business.Could I borrow a cigarette?I like your room in puce.w t     0Mike: "I understand he's going to open the first velcro museum."Sydney: "That's right. And the feature will be velcro chicken lips."Mike: "Pay up or I'll squeal on you."Agatha: "Don't try and blackmail me you little worm."Sydney: "He claims his bloodlines are impeccable."Claudia: "Not at all. He has the  vilest of antecedents."Mike: "She'll pay plenty for what I know."Flimsey: "Watch yourself, she has a mean streak."Flimsey: "See for yourself. The Flimsey family in the Heraldry Handbook."Claudia: "My apologies. By the way, did you find your velcro chicken lips?""Check your files.""When she gets finished with him,Stammer will walk like Ironsides.""Take the "A" Train."Agatha is high in the pecking order.         In 1973 which city set a U.S. recordof 751 homicides?ClevelandNew YorkChicagoDetroit What was the first year in U.S.history without a lynching?1919189619521929 What was the last request ofJas A. Rodgers, executed in 1960?Ear plugsA bullet proof vestA toasted BLT to goA carton of Chesterfield Kings Which match is incorrect?Rex Stout / Tom WolfeG. K. Chesterton / Father BrownDorothy L. Sayers/Lord Peter WimseyEarl Der Biggers / Charlie Chan Which brothers where defeated in theshootout at the OK corral in 1881?The Earp BrothersThe Doobie BrothersThe Clanton BrothersThe James BrothersUnder her bed Agatha has hidden: Velcro chicken lips. Assorted power tools.On dresser: Note: Meet Mike hereat 3p.On night table: Photo of Cambridge Rowing team. Invitation for drinks at Flimsey's room, 6p.In his desk is: Blackmail note from Claudia. Book: "Velcro and the Funky Chicken." Note to meet mike at 4:30, libraryOn stereo is Duke Ellington record. Note to meet Claudia at 3p, her room.In the pile of dirty laundry is acheque from Agatha.On bookshelf is text:"Blackmail for Fun and Profit."Note: Meet Sydney in Foyer at 2p.Favors tweed panty hoseAspiring actressOwns a velcro theme parkJazz buffHas a motel tant 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatreq($1>KX1+eXG Mike booted Schpott in the slats.Mike had an affair with the maid.Sydney sneezed on your dinner.Mike was borrowing money from you.Does Schpott like Gaines Burgers?How's the knitting going?Can I get a witness?Will that be cash or chargex?Is that the last train to Clarksville?You've made a mess of Mike's face.Still got those allergies?What do you do with that silly putty?I love your Accolade video games.Who do you like in the quoits match?Is that Canadian money flammable?Don't you like curried Doritos?Can you dance in those cleats?Are you smoking El Ropo cigars?Did you get that disease from Schpott?You've eaten all the kumquats.Who's your friend?Your hat needs blocking.Do you know the way to San Jose?Is that lipstick on your collar? _  w  ) c  Sydney: "Achoo! That dog will be the death of me."Mike: "That's no way to talk about Claudia."Agatha: "What have you done with my baby?"Sydney: "I punted your pesky pooch into Loch Ness."Claudia: "If he's two timing me he's dead."Flimsey: "Well my dear, I did see the chambermaid in his room."Mike: "She's beautiful. Lips like pillows."Agatha: "Watch yourself sport. Claudia has a mean streak.""Make sure you get into allthe rooms.""Maypole's dog is missing and she's out for blood.""Hercule. Could you lend me 500 dollars?""Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.""Hercule, you'll never guess. My Schpott has been found! Tell Sydney the good news."      Who plays the She inMurder, She Wrote?Mildred NatwickDame Edith EvansAngela LansburyMorgan Fairchild Name the detective who solvesMurder on the Orient Express?KojakSherlock HolmesMiss MarpleHercule Poirot The breath of a cyanide poisoningvictim smells of?GarlicBitter almondsGrape Kool-AidJungle mouth In Hitchcock's The Trouble withHarry, Harry is:a corpsea private eyea psychopathic murderera St Bernard Who made his first appearance inA Study in Scarlet?Ellery QueenSherlock HolmesThe Thin ManSydney GreenstreetThree cases of Gaines burgers.Note: Meet Sydney, patio 4:30.Note: Meet Mike in his room at 6p.Binoculars. Wire-tap.Picture of Mike with darts in it.Stack of IOU's from Mike.Junk: Bic lighter, Canadian money, wax lips, velcro tutu.Note: Meet Claudia, hall, 5p.Allergy tablets. Cleats.Note: Meet Mike, library, 4p.Dirty laundry. Lipstick on shirtcollar, bankruptcy notice.Note: "Darling, I'll never forget that weekend in the linen closet."Loves her dog SchpottJealous, quick temperedWorld travellerHates kids and dogsA single swingerated 17-10-52.Champagne. Crackers. 36 rarecheeses. Cocktail napkins.Framed original poster for theRat Trap.Diary: "This Flimsey chap ringsa distant bell."Award for Agatha: "Longest RunningPlay."Diary: "Meet Syd in hall at 4p.,Claudia on patio at 5p.,All but Agatha in my room at 11p."Richer than Stephen KingNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatrey| _+rZB.XClaudia tried to rip you off.Claudia's computer was down.You wanted all the endorsement $$$.You wanted Claudia's Coleco Adam.Run out of Preparation "H"?Is Australian wine a good laxative?Did you pay for that Spectravideo?Do you feel the earth move?How's your Chernobyl stock?Your Cabbage Patch computer melted.So you're a Jerry Lewis fan?Your room smells of wet tweed.So the Flimsey fortune has faded.Have you played Infiltrator?Cracked any code lately?Don't you like black wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vaporware have to say?What's the damage?Is that the plagiarists award?8   &   # [Sydney: "I understand we may have a deal with Vaporware Inc. for a big bucks endorsement."Agatha: "Yes, Claudia's negotiating with their president, Maj. Gen Wild Bill McLevy.Claudia: "I'm afraid the deal fellthrough. Vaporware decidedagainst publishing 'Murder Club Word Processing.'"Peter: "Well, I guess its back to the drawing board."Sydney: "If the deal fell through, how come Claudia's spending so much money?"Mike: "Yeah. That new McLemonshe got even comes withbuilt in artificial stupidity."Peter: "I was counting on thatendorsement money to buy some of thegreat new Accolade games like Ace ofAces, Deceptor and Mean 18."Agatha: "Don't forget Hardball and Psi Five."Claudia: "I'll split the cash with you if you keep your mouth shut."Mike: "Sister, my lips are sealed."Sydney: "I'm famished. I'm going to MacDonalds. They've got a new crustacean burger called McSluggets."Peter: "Wait for me.""This will be a bigger bomb than theE.T. video game.""Someone's going to put a bug inher system.""If she's holding out on us,I'll crack her code.""Holmes, did you see a telexfrom Silicon Valley?"            The star of "Murder, She Wrote" is:Angie DickensonA. A. FairAgatha ChristieAngela Lansbury Peter Sellers was a bumblingdetective in:Wait Until DarkA Shot in the DarkWhistling in the DarkThe Sun Also Rises Dashiell Hammett's "otherprofession:"StockbrokerPinkerton manCab driverMilliner Raymond Chandler's "otherprofession:"Oil company executiveBoxerOrnithologistMathematician Dorothy Sayers' "other profession:"PhilatelistProctologistMedieval ScholarScientologistCheap calculator that makesmistakes.Spectravideo paper weight.Cheque for $1M from Vaporware Inc.Mound of melted plastic withnameplate--"Coleco Adam."Code Cracker's Handbook.Book: "Eunuchs--Software forStraights."Texas Instruments boat anchor.Pail of Grease Gumbo.Modem for Univac.Intellivision door jam.Key to Claudia's room.Telex from Vaporware.IBM PC Jr. flowerpot.Big fan of horoscope softwareSecretary, Murder ClubProgramming 73'rd version of "Way of the Exploding Fist."Winner of Jack Trample lookalike contestBelieves Coleco will get back into computer bizwrq)?X?KtNI He ran over your brother.You were being blackmailed.You had an affair with Claudia.You're an homicidal maniac.So you're a Ronnie Reagan fan.I understand you're on medication.I saw the twinkies in your room.I understand you're a jazz buff.I understand you knew Frederick.I saw your jewellery collection.Your mink coat looks great.Your room's a mess.Your lint suit needs pressing.Who's your tailor, Purina?I saw High Society mag in your room.I see you collect velcro.Mind if I have a beer, old boy?I saw that side of beef in your room.I noticed the Plasmatics in your roomCan I get into that poker game?You should make your bed.What do you know about ladybugs?Have you read Stephen King's novel?I liked your room in Fushia. m O   = v Peter: "I say old man, lend me one of your guns for the shooting party."Mike: "By all means squire. See you in the a.m."Claudia: "I understand they always get their man."Sydney: "Then I'll get a sex change."Agatha: "I love men in uniforms."Mike: "Don't I look smashing in my bell hop ensemble?"Peter: "An eye for an eye; a hoof for a hoof."Claudia: "Watch yourself. He can be dangerous.""I suggest you open your files.""Room service. Send up some chocolate mousse. Hold the antlers.""I suggest you check Sydney and Peter's profiles.""I tried to stop but his brother was too stuffed to jump.""Don't be outfoxed. The fur will fly over his bad driving."        "The Detective Wore Silk Drawers"is about:Dick TracyBare Knuckle BoxingGay HaberdasheryLiberace Who was Perry Mason's longtimecompanion?LiberaceDella StreetDella ReeseAnnie Lennox Who was the narrator on the original"Shadow" radio show?Bob HopeLamont CranstonBing CrosbyBurt Atkins In "Rear Window" James Stewart seesa murder committed by:Raymond BurrKirk DouglasPee Wee HermanSheldon Wiseman What song from "The Man Who Knew TooMuch" won an Academy Award?Nostradamus Mon AmourThird Man ThemeJust a GigoloQue Sera SeraA copy of Ronald Reagan's Join theDots Biography.A message to meet Mike on patio at4 pm.Frederick's of Hollywood catalog.Note: Meet Peter, lib, 5 p.Note: Meet Sydney, hall, 3 p.High Society mag: Nigel Flimsey --Best Moose Costume.Meet Mike, his room, 5:30.Case of Moosehead beerBloodstained moose costume with theinitials NF.Copy of Imelda Marcos' "How toRotate Your Odor Eaters."Thursday's Stephen King novel.Loves Ronnie ReaganHas C64 that worksFormer mountie and crack shotTaxidermist to the starsHas gun collection|9Kd}v0rx3M]gPeter played piano with his knucklesPeter's fish stank up the hotelPeter stole your "Fish" plotPeter was a flounderSo you like Peter's piano playing?Did you hide that cask of sherry?I like your Sid Vicious poster.Is that a spittoon beside your bed?So you and Sydney are an item?So Agatha is really your mother?Why do you have three invitations?Do you use a trowel for your makeup?So you trout fish with dynamite?Are you going for two Red Herrings?Are you keeping a pet in your room?Do you wear rubber jockey shorts?Your next victim will be clean, eh?What are you wearing, a parachute?Do you think sting is the best?I love your new monochrome dumpster.I see your'e a Mozart fan, tooWho taught you flower arranging?Those hotel towels in your suitcase?Gonna be great balls o' fire tonight?  -  > b    Flimsey: "We must try our luck with the fishies one of these nights old thing."Agatha: "Oh, Lord Peter, anytime you think they're biting."Claudia: "There's nothing lower than a plagiarist."Sydney: "Nothing, unless it's one who mangles the musical masters."Agatha: "Oh, I'me so thrilled, dear. He's promised to take me grunion fishing."Claudia: "Be careful, Agatha, my fish ended up in his frying pan."Peter: "I'd simply kill for a peek at his new manuscript."Mike: "You may not get the chance pal.""I suggest you open your files.""Tell Agatha the grunion are runningand to be at the river at midnight.""Holmes, you must come to my encoreMozart recital.""The leaping fish was hers andMozart is mine.""Fish and justice--both havescales."         Who stole the Star of India?Eddie FisherAlbert DeSalvoBobby FranksMurph the Surf Who is the central character in the"Seven Per Cent Solution?"Sherlock HolmesH. Boone PickensAlbert EinsteinJ. P. Getty What are brothel-creepers?PoliticiansCockroachesSoft-soled shoesVice cops What detective lives in a boatcalled "The Busted Flush"?Ed NortonDon JohnsonErnest AngeleyTravis McGee "Alibi Innings" is about:CricketBaseballQuoitsLawn bowlingFishing rod. Lures.Note: "Meet Peter in Library at 4p."Note: "Meet Claudia in patio at 5:30p."Diary: "Peter personally invited meto hear him play mozart again."Three invitations: "Join me in hall,midnight, for my Mozart encore",signed Lord P.Note: Meet Sydney in hall at 5:00p.Note: Dear 'Willing Victim', see you at midnight.Red Herring Award for "Mystery ofthe Leaping Fish."Hip Waders, fish net. Photocopymachine.Diary: "Murder in the Baths" couldwin it for me again.Diary: "I can't bear anotherevening of Flimsey's flounderingMozart." Manuscript for SydneyMeanstreet's "Murder in the Baths."Mozart records.Jerry Lee Lewis records.Diary: "Tonight it's the 'Killer'and my 'Victim'."Note: Meet Peter in library 6:30p.Note: "I'll be a little latetonight," signed, 'Willing Victim.'Waits with baited breathCan get crabbyBlowfishStill carps about AmadeusCard sharkngNewest member of the Red Herring ClubHumble beginningsStarted out as a child actorNot a fan of theatreuf!4AC`hWNPeter ruined your reputation. your souffle. your day. your vacation.I see you have a diary?a dairy?a dowry?a doggy?M16 is a nebulous cluster?M16 is a hi-powered rifle?Both of the above?None of the above?So you were once in jail?in Java?in the papers?in Spain?You think space is positivelyis negativelyis not reallyis nicely curved?Your room reminds me of the Navy.of the Vatican.of Venus.of the Alamo. T  6   > v Mike: "Is she still mad?"Peter: "Is the Pope still Catholic? Your fake painting will be the death of us both. I didn't even know it was fake!Mike: "Now that's scary!"Sydney: "Your perfume smells like satin enamel!"Agatha: "Oh! What colour?"Claudia: My "objet d'art" reviewthis month is on antique and rareguns.Agatha: "I've never seen an M16 before."Claudia: "If I had to choose between them I'd pick Flimsey!"Agatha: "Well dear--give it a shot!"Mike: "Art's what you make it."Peter: "That's easy for you to say. It's all your fault but she blames me."Claudia: "Stammer doesn't have thebrains to come up with this.Flimsey's made a fool of me."Agatha: "Is Peter still running red lights? You two should be very careful."Mike: "He couldn't tell so I fakedit. He said he wanted it forhimself. He said it would staylost forever. Besides there aren'tany 'missing Monets', then hedecided to try it on you Claudia.""Forgery is a strong word!Duplicate reality is more like it.Besides they both liked it.They're the phonies.""Claudia's meeting Agatha at5:00--I say no more!""Agatha's warning Mike at 6--don'tmiss it (Mike's room).""That weasel's squealing to Claudiain his room at 7."          What was Peter Gunn's address?351 Ellis Park Road10 1/2 Baker Street10 Downing Street77 Sunset Strip What is a 'cosh?TraitorJewel thiefBlackjackGetaway car Who played Richard Diamond'sanswering service?Sally FieldsTotie FieldsMary Tyler MooreJane Fonda Who stole the Mona Lisa in 1911Michael PlantiniVincenco PeruggiaAmerigo VespucciAnna Maria Alberghetti How many Popes have beenassassinated?XXVIXIIIIXIVDear diary: Sept. 16 "As awriter I do enjoy seeingcritics being publicly humiliated!"Note: meet Claudia at 4:00, lib.Sept. "Art of High Society"headline reads "New Art CriticReplaces Von Bulow."Manual "Proper Care of Your M16."Note: Agatha in hall at 5:30.Bullet proof vest.Bullet proof plaid toque.Note: meet Mike in the foyer, 6:30.Newspaper cut out of Flimseyin the gallery--caption reads"The Missing Monet!"Magazine article--"Space isPositively Curved."Note: meet Agatha at 3:30 in hall.An open box of the "Sistine Chapel"full scale, paint by numbers kit.Message to meet Peter at 3:00in the library.Part time toxicologist and mystery writerCritic for the "Art Of High Society"Infamously bad temperedColour blind art dealerFailed Coke challenge--couldn't tell the real thingMath anxietyGood head for numbers, nice handwritingPrivate detective--convicted misc forgerieswjb@PcvM\ZnShe was a dirty rat.She played her records too loud.She pulled too many practical jokes.She caught you cheating at cards.Do you need all that glue?Who won the world series?Is your radio still broken?Is it a breath mint or a candy?What is the pepper for?Did you take out the garbage yet?We're off to see the wizard.I know someone who can fix your bar.You are one kool dude.Bagged any grouse lately, old boy?Your carpet is filthy.How are your lemmings?Are you still betting the ponies?Have you over-extended your credit?Is your back any better?Getting more bang out of your cigars?Have you been dealing lately?How is that new Scotch?Are you happy with the marzipan pigs?You should quit aerobics class. {  u   Sydney: "She's gone too far. I think my nose is burned!"Peter: "I actually thought it was a nice gift until the darn thing started to drip all over."Claudia: "I thought Mike was really rude coming to the party dressed like that."Agatha: "At least the others laughed."Agatha: "What happened to your nose?"Sydney: "Thanks for the cigars!"Agatha: "Oh. Har har har!!"Peter: "...and then it started to drip all over. I really think this has gone far enough.Mike: "Yes. I've been too chicken to agree until now. Somebody should go after that old hen.""Only one person hit a fowl at the ball.""Your pants are falling down.""I know where the murder may take place.""I'me as confused as you are and Peter seems to be nervous today."        When Sherlock Holmes retired in1912 what did he take up?taxidermybeekeepingpaint-by-numbersdrinking What was Sherlock Holmes' address?8411 1/2 Sunset Blvd10 Rillington Pl10 Downing Street221b Baker Street Who is murdered 8 times in the movie"Kind Hearts and Coronets?"Duke WayneLord OlivierSir Alec GuinessSir Michael Redgrave Who designed the beheading machineadopted for use in France in 1792?Dr Antoine LouisMaximillian RobespierreDr GuillotineMarie Antoinette French writer Georges Simenoncreated what famous detective?Inspector Van der ValkSergeant PrestonInspector CloussauInspector MaigretHer best evening gown is on the bed.A box containing itching powder,fountain pens, cigars, ink and glue.Note: Meet Sydney, 6:30, patio.A beautiful red evening gown ishanging in the closet.The garbage is empty.Note: Meet Agatha, her room, 4:30.A clean tux with a dry cleaning billattached is in the closet.There are ink spots on the carpet.There is an Ink Spots record onthe stereo.A rumpled toxedo is on a chair.On the desk is the invitation toAgatha's formal dinner banquet heldlast Friday.In the ashtray is the remains of anexploded cigar."A chicken costume is on his bed.A torn up invitation to Agatha'scostume party held last Friday.At least 3 decks of cards are here.Note: Meet Peter, hall, 7:00.Enjoys a good jokeLoose as a gooseLast mystery: "Good Help is Hard to Find."Remembers the AlamoA poor sport at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries~ tt~0^R*H{Claudia called you Potato HeadClaudia laughed at your knickersAgatha hated Mike's MysterywearClaudia squeezed you out of the dealThat a Princess Anne clothes horse?How're those Buster Brown's?Your bun been through the microwave?Have you been into the sheep dip?Too bad about the contract.That your mollusk collection?You a Frank Sinatra fan?Is that feather boa licenced?How long is it?Who do you like in the Toilet Bowl?Who's your proctologist?Elvis your main squeeze?Love your Cleaver codpiece.Your puttees need cleaning.Did you drink all the Gator-Aid?Your jowls have the jiggles.You should have taken the Mets.You owe the bookies a bundle.Is that your newt collection?Is that pincushion for acupuncture? K     OSydney: "I don't get it. Why would anyone wear a spandex deerstalker hat?"Claudia: "This is hot stuff. Wait'll you see the new Perry Mason designer truss--You need it."Peter: "Looks like Mike's Mysterywear is a big success, congrats."Mike: "Doesn't do me much good. Claudia squeezed me out of my own business."Agatha: "your outfit looks like two children fighting under a blanket."Claudia: "Oh yeah, Well your monstrosity looks like a sack of cats heading for the river."Peter: "Who made your suit, Purina?"Sydney: "That's funny coming from you needlenose. That a Liberace leftover you got on?""If Stammer gets a chance he'll make sure she's well-basted.""A stitch in time.""He'd like to see her dressed in basic black.""He shall reap what he has sewn."        What baseball team had it's ownMurderers' Row?1969 New York Mets1942 St. Louis Browns1927 New York Yankees1919 Chicago White Sox Where were there 1801 unsolvedgangland slayings between 1919-1983?ChicagoClevelandDetroitNew York In the U.S., who is classified asmissing person 75-3425?Howard HughesJimmy HoffaElvis PresleyAmelia Earhart On Sept. 13, 1916 the residents ofErwin, Tenn., hanged for murder?Teddy Roosevelt's evil twinJesse JamesBilly the KidA circus elephant What famous Old West killer was bornHenry McCarty in New York City,1859?Billy the KidThe Sundance KidThe Cisco KidCaptain KiddJar of sheep dip cold cream.Invalid driver's license.Tweed busby. Plus fours.Note: Meet Claudia in hall at 4:30.Royalty contract withStammer--torn in half.Marketing charts. Ravereviews from: Coco Carnal,Bill Blast, Calvin Clandestine.Note: Meet Sydney, library, 3:00.Porcelain bust of Elvis.Membership card for Flat EarthSociety.Two page edition of L. Ron Hubbard's"Wit and Wisdom."Eldridge Cleaver designer codpiece.Blazer made from deck chair.Hippo logo on golf shirt.Note: Meet Peter, patio, 5:00.Blueprints for Mike's Mysterywear.Sewing machine, patterns,pincushion.Note: Meet Peter on patio at 3:00.Knits her own tweed knickersMarkets line of clothes called Mike's MysterywearChanges his clothes bianuallyWears parachutesHandy with needle and threadport at work and play--convicted misc forgeriestre   `a30Sydney called you a Weenie.Sydney threatened your dog.Sydney said you were a lousy writer.Sydney hates Madonna and Sean.Do you carve your own axe handles?Is that a photo of your boyfriend?I see you have a new duvet?I see Schpott schatt on your schooes.Your ceiling mirror is cracked.Is that painting on real velvet?Those detonating caps look dangerous.I like your room in leather.Your plants have got scabies.Who do you like at Wimbledon?Is Jim McMahon's ego that big?Clean your desk, it's a mess.I see you got tickets to the Met.Memorized any more insults?Are you going to San Francisco?Your back scratcher is being deported.Sydney will love your bubble bath.Did you see "Spinal Tap?"Your goldfish go to obedience school?Is that all there is?t ,   Z Mike: "If he calls me a "weenie" once more I'm going to tell Mumsy on him."Agatha: "He's a wretched man. He threatened to kick my dog Schpott in the slats."Claudia: "That big tub of goo. He told me I wasn't a writer; I'm a typist."Peter: "Well he called me a snoid. I'm going to bust his chops."Mike: "Care to join us for a little Midnight Madness?"Sydney: "Love to. I've got another round of insults for you mental midgets."(Har! Har!)Agatha: "Who drew the lucky number?"Mike: "I dunno Toots. We're bound to secrecy, remember. We'll find out at midnight.""Hope I win the lottery. I've got something that'll blow his mind.""Sydney will get the 'point' if I win the secret draw.""You're a chump Holmes. You'll never figure out the killer in this one.""Watch for a rerun of the Lizzie Borden caper!"         What do P. D. James initials standfor?Penelope DaphnePhyllis DorothyPublic DomainPatty Duke In "Inspector Maigret Mystified"what was the drug habit?CrackHashishEtherOregano What is Mickey Spillane'sfull name?Stacy SpillaneFrank Morrison SpillaneToots SpillaneSimon Shuster Spillane Who does Nero Wolfe meet in"The Doorbell Rang"?Marvin MillerJohn Beresford TiptonHoover SalesmanJ. Edgar Hoover How did Norman's mother diein "Psycho"?HeartburnFrightPoisonStarvationBook: "Noose Knots Made Easy."Book: "The Chihuahua as an Attack Dog."Axe handles.Note: Meet Mike, library, 3p.Detonating device. Clock. Wires.Latest mystery: "The Dick and JaneMurders."Note: Meet Peter, patio, 3:30.Knife-sharpener. Target withSydney's face.Book: "The Ego has Landed" byJim McMahon.Book: "1001 Insults."Videos: "Don Rickles in Concert""Joan Rivers Live".Note: Meet Mike, hall, 4.Bubble bath. Hand warmers.Jammies with toes.Bullets. Gun cleaner.Note: "Meet Agatha, 4:30, hall.Wears sensible shoesMakes Madonna look virginalCaptain of English All-TwitsEats for twoWears bi-focal contact lensesecks of cards are here.Note: Meet Peter, hall, 7:00.Enjoys a good jokeLoose as a gooseLast mystery: "Good Help is Hard to Find."Remembers the AlamoA poor sport at work and playive--convicted misc forgeriesb N )Tq[-WyYou wanted Mike's inheritance.copyrights.publishing.gold fish.So you're independently employed?crazy?wealthy?minded?Why do you need a pencil sharpener?knife?skate?banana?Are you curious about long lost gold?long lost road?long lost nephew?long lost doily?Ever been to a Mexican bingo game?restaurant?divorce?bean dance?You do sound like Ricky Ricardo!Sydney Meanstreet!Marco Polo!Mr Ed!G  N  zPeter: "We're having a big party next week."Agatha: "Oh, for who?"Peter: "Why, Mike's 21st birthday. Didn't you know?"Agatha: "No, why should I?"Sydney: "Mike doesn't have any relatives to invite."Peter: "Doesn't even know his parents. Why?"Sydney: "A million and one reasons."Peter: "Maybe just a million."Agatha: "I've had a wonderfulevening--but this wasn't it!"Sydney: "Wait a minute Aggy"Agatha: "We have 0 to talk about."Sydney: "We have a million things to discuss"Agatha: "In my new book the heroinepretends she's about to kill herselfto lure her ex to the scene."Claudia: "He goes out of love?"Agatha: "No hate. His last chanceto find where she hid the money."Sydney: "Mike's 21st is this week.21 is a big birthday--adulthood--things held in trust--know whatI mean? Cut me in or I'll make abig announcement."Agatha: "You're crazy!"Claudia: "Can I borrow your dental floss?"Mike: "Agatha's got it."Claudia: "Can I borrow your knife?"Mike: "She's got that too."Claudia: "That packrat.""This is Sydney's answering machine,leave your name & number."Agatha: "Oh S. I can't take itanymore. This business of themoney. It's goodbye cruel worldfor me at 12 on the patio tonight."Agatha: "Bookstore? I'd like toorder 50,000 copies of Maypole'snew book "The Elephant Trap."Cheque's in the mail.Send them anywhere you like. Bye!""Hot tip--monitor Agatha's roomright now!"        What is the accepted hangman's dropfor a murderer weighing 196 lbs?2 ft.8 ft.16 ft.32 ft. On which day was Julius Caesarmurdered?March 15July 4Valentine's dayArbor day Old west gunfighter Doc Holidaywas a:Tubercular dentistSyphilitic chiropodistMyopic proctologistEpileptic neurologist Sweeney Todd is a nickname for:cyanidea gaola straight razorScotland Yard's flying squad What did you dial for murder in the1954 Hitchcock film?555-1212M1-800-212-DEAD666Deposit slip--Swiss account #123 for$1,000,000.Birth Certificate: Mike Maypole,May 30, 1965.Note: Call bookstore at 3:30.Note: Please return my knifesharpener Agatha.Note: Meet Mike in the hall, 8:30.Newspaper headline: "Millionaireleaves it all to lost nephew."Genealogy report for S. Meanstreet.Copy of "Divorce Mexican Style."Note: Meet Agatha in hall, 4:30.Note from Peter: Was that yourmessage on my answering machine?You always sound like Sydney to me.Once famous writer--sales now in declineFamily money--Dental floss farmsCurious--suspicious of the equatorA huge bombard of sackA young, 1 man slumport at work and play--convicted misc forgeriestreNrK dN?@iProfessional jealousy football ethics paint jobSo, another Goose Trap! Moose Trap Elephant Trap! Clap TrapSo, you secretly enjoy house work?Agatha's work?art work?wood work?So, no time lost in reading.writing.arithmetic.dancing.Are you an epileptic elephant? analytic commandant? paralytic sycophant? optimistic hydrant?Ha Ha! Not a book for everyone!reading!anyone!keeping!  1    S xPeter: "Is it true Sydney's given up mysteries?"Mike: "Yes, submitted a collectionof 2 line poems. He's a hit."Claudia: "Any word from your publisher?"Agatha: "Yes, wonderful news--they love it--again!"Claudia: (gag) "I'm so happy!"Claudia: "People can't be in the Murder Club if they don't write mysteries."Agatha: "How do we get him out?"Claudia: "Let's get rid of him."Claudia: "Everything she's written has been a hit!"Mike: "Did you read The Elephant trap?"Claudia: "No, and I wouldn't waste my time."Claudia: "I'll make sure he'sthere. You make sure you're thereBring you gun."Agatha: "Library at midnight. Theworld will be minus 1 lousy writer."Claudia: "Exactly. I'll call him."Mike: "The 1st rule of writing is not to write like Sydney."Peter: "The 2nd & 3rd are the same."Mike: "He's burnt out. 2-line poems! He shouldn't be in the Murder Club."Claudia: "Congratulations Syd! Could I ask an old pro to proof read a few lines?"Sydney: "Why, yes my dear!"Claudia: "Patio at midnight then.""Mike's got a meeting at 7:00in the library.""Some great acting in Agatha'sroom at 3:00.""Hot tip--Agatha's room at 5:00.""Red hot tip--Claudia in Agatha'sroom at 8:00."      What is the name of the bog inHound of the Baskervilles?OkeefenokeeGrimpen MireStilton SwampBob Dog Bog What was Nero Wolfe's favoritehobby?Stamp CollectingCookingTaxidermyOrchids In the TV series "Harry-O" what didthe "O" stand for?OrwellOrvilleOvidOreo "The Name of the Game is Murder" isabout?EuchreOchreFootballTiddleywinks Gwendoline Butler wrote:Dine and be DeadAntlers in the MousseTender TrufflesArsenic and Anchovies"Another Elephant Trap."A Classic--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia here 3, 5, 8."Your script is good and originalbut the part that is good isn'toriginal and the part that isoriginal isn't good"--Publisher.Mangled copy of "The Elephant Trap.""Thanks for your book. I'll lose notime in reading it. None!"--Publisher.Note meet Mike at 1:00 in his room.Tell Claudia to meet Sydney at 8:30,his room--Says it's urgent."Monumental--Riveting 2-line poems!Contact soon,possible movie rights."--Publisher.Paralytic sycophant!--Anon."This was a good book but not a bookfor reading--Not to be tossed asidelightly though--It should be thrownwith great force!"--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia, library, 7:00.Successful mystery playwright--"The Elephant Trap",etcSpecialty: thrillers; also some writingWrites mystery musicals--tone deafLegend in his own lunchtimeLewd vegitarian--mediocre writerrt at work and playive--convicted misc forgeries|'9LVcpO wRYou need a fork lift to move him.He weighs less than the rest.You hate his plaid tie collection.His comical monacle.Why do you have bricks in your room?I hear you knit feminist bras?Planning on forming an old girls club?Do you floss those dentures?How do you keep your wig warm?So you're reading Durrell.Been married lately?Tell me, why did you want a forklift?So I hear you've been surveyed.Stammer tells me your a chauvinist.Does your monacle need cleaning?Do you consider AIDS a murder weapon?So I hear you've been surveyed.How do you lose weight with mousse?Have you ever considered surgery?Have you ever been on a forklift ride?Hear you're like a football, pigskin?Stammer 10W30 is NOT a detergent.This hotel has a laundry service.I understand you emulate Dirty Harry?"  E Agatha: "You mean you don't care which one you do in?"Claudia: "Well some things are easier to carry off than others."Sydney: "If I was properly cared for I wouldn't need these diets.Agatha: "It's a crying shame you're not as slim as Flimsey."Peter: "It's preposterous she should think us all chauvinists."Mike: "Yeah, but who can tell what a dumb broad's thinkin'."Agatha: "Dearie, if your going to do it, why not Stammer?"Claudia: "Forget it. He's too filthy to be touched.""You've got files, you know what kind of "men" they are. We all know there are only two ways to even out the membership.""I want you to find out why the that woman didn't survey my weight. What is she doing on the patio?"   What was Nero Wolfe's favoritebrand of beer?Moosehead LightGuinessRemmersOld India Pale Ale Patrick McGoohan debuted in what USTV series?ColumboThe PrisonerDanger ManMan from UNCLE Who was the most obese:Perry MasonNero WolfeCharlie ChanCannon What was Sherlock Holmes' otherprofession?LoutIngrateApothecaryBeekeeper Who is known as "the father of thedetective story"?Edgar Allen PoeRobert Louis StevensonPere SoapCharles DickensBook: How to form an Old GirlsNetwork.Note to meet Claudia on the patio at5p.Forklift rental rejection slip, anew gown, and several bricks.Note to meet Agatha at 2.30p onthe patio.A note from Claudia: I'me taking asurvey - how much do you weigh?A note to meet Mike at 3p. in thehall.Book: The Chocolate Mousse Diet forMounties.Note to meet Agatha at 3 in herroom.A note from Claudia: I'me taking asurvey - how much do you weigh?Closet full of clothes, all filthy.Old fashioned femaleMilitant feministOnce said "Never met a broad that didn't fall all over me"Member of the all male Elk's clubPart of the old boys networkralytic sycophant!--Anon."This was a good book but not a bookfor reading--Not to be tossed asidelightly though--It should be thrownwith great force!"--Publisher.Note: Meet Claudia, library, 7:00.Successful mystery playwright--"The Elephant Trap",etcSpecialty: thrillers; also some writingWrites mystery musicals--tone deafLegend in his own lunchtimeLewd vegitarian--mediocre writerrt at work and playive--convicted misc forgeriesSometimes it's the little thingsthat drive a person to murder--likenot getting your oatmeal in themorning because an early riser has gobbled it all.Sydney lured Agatha to Stammer'sempty room with the intention ofblowing her up. A warning to youkids out there: always eat a heartybreakfast or you could turn into acereal killer like Sydney.ick to denture creme?Do you keep burgers in the boxes?Do you keep wigs in the boxes?Do you keep burgers in the wigs?Do you keep wigs in the burgers?I notice you plan to go out.I notice you plan to eat out.I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food In the clairvoyant biz, three out offour ain't bad--except when the oddman out is a bubblehead likeFlimsey. Seems that Claudia's crystal ball was humming. She helped Agatha find her missing mutt Schpott, found the rare wine Sydney was after and madea bundle for Mike when she predictedthe winner of the Kentucky Derby.Unfortunately, Claudia went too farwhen she urged Peter to invest in asure-thing: the stage version of theclassic film "Mars Needs Women." Itbombed! Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food Most Americans are nuts over theroyals but Stammer needed aneducation in English history. Noway Agatha could let him get away with using her genuine Lady Di Chamber Pot to change the oil in his Ferrari. Even if he did have the big Beaujolais wine race coming up the next day.So, she hatched her plan to lighthis fuse in Peter's room atmidnight.o farwhen she urged Peter to invest in asure-thing: the stage version of theclassic film "Mars Needs Women." Itbombed! Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodIt was Stammer and not Claudia whosent that fateful note to Flimsey,tempting him to Agatha's room atmidnight. There's only so much a guy can take before even a certified weenie like Stammer strikes back and stabs his tormentor--and blackmailerAs for Claudia and Sydney--well, themarriage lasted 38 minutesbefore Claudia filed for divorce andtook him for everything he had.Claudia now lives on the Rivierawith a beachboy named Guido. film "Mars Needs Women." Itbombed! Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodWhen Stammer's colleagues discoveredhis pet chimp Zippy was writing andwinning the Red Herring mysteryawards, they were humiliated. So they banded together to eliminate Zippy--all except the one animal lover in the bunch, Agatha.She planned to poison Stammerin his room at midnight and getZippy for herself. With a littleloving care. Zippy might come upwith an even better mystery thanthis and she could cop her own Red Herring award. "Mars Needs Women." Itbombed! Peter lost his shirt andvowed to give Claudia an eye in the middle of her forehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food This was a high-flying affair,an ugly little case of fowl playI winged my way through.Claudia, after giving her best feather boa a ducking in the bird bath had it hung out to dry on the crows line. Meanwhile, Mike was out groussing for game, and mistaking the drying boa for a sitting duck,blew the stuffing out of it.Claudia's feathers were more thana bit ruffled. She decided to cookhis goose by bombing his eiderdownbed.Who knows? If bird watcher Flimseyhadn't turned stool pigeon and tipped me off, that bird would have flown the coop.orehead..I notice you plan to walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new foodImagine you've eaten virtuallyevery meal of your life atMucBurgers. You learn a majorshareholder plans to sell out-- the new man hopes to adorn your sustenance with carp roe, fish eyes, mung sauce and other delicacies. If you're like Stammer you panic! Mike had learned that Flimsey wasconsidering selling out to Sydney.His imagination upchucked at thethought of Sydney "upgrading" themenu. Stammer's burger hand wasforced to plot murder. The plan was simple. He would help Sydney with his menu plans, then set up a poison taste test, a patio barbeque and a midnightmurder.walk out.I notice you plan to sell out.So you plan to get into fast food?So you plan to get into blue food?So you plan to get into diet food?So you plan to get into new food What people will do for money!Peter and Agatha--both were soproud of their new publishingdeals. All that promotion money. Imagine the shock when they discovered they had the same agent, Barry McFreeburg and he was splitting the promotion $$ between them. Both plotted the other's demise.But Agatha outfoxed Flimsey byplanting the bogus story withClaudia that she intended toretire from writing. Sure enough,Claudia told Flimsey, he bought the hoax, called off his murder plans and left himself wide open to Agatha's Midnight Murder with the poison in the foyer.Don't you like black wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo In the fall of 1952, Agatha Maypolepersonally selected little AlfiePicklewhite, the son of a Cockneyeelmonger, over not-so-little Sydney Meanstreet, for the role of young Roger Murgatroyd in her new play The Rat Trap. Picklewhite was so dreadful on opening night that Agatha fired him on the spot.The play of course went on to maketheatre history.As for little Alf, he never forgothis humiliation, and decades laterhe engineered a meeting between hiscurd-loving tormentor and a hunk ofpoisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew up to be Lord Peter Flimsey.wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did VapoAgatha stole Flimsey's valuable setof velcro chicken lips. Mikewitnessed the crime and tried toblackmail Agatha. She responded by arranging to meet Mike at midnight in the foyer to demonstrate her Lizzie Borden imitation.Claudia accused Flimsey of being afraud ... that he in fact won thefamily title at a dogfight. Shetried to blackmail Flimsey but heproved his lineage with theHeraldy Handbook. decades laterhe engineered a meeting between hiscurd-loving tormentorand a hunk ofpoisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo Such an unlikely couple. But whenyou're broke and desperate. Money,lots of it, can make a man turnmighty stupid. I guess that's what happened to Stammer. Why else would he take up with Claudia? Sure, she had tracts of land but she was insanely jealous and when Stammer got together with that chambermaid, theone that had lips like pillows,well ... Claudia had no choice but totry to skewer Mike in her room.As for Sydney, lucky for him Agatha'spoodle could swim so all wasforgiven.poisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did VapoIt all started with that computerendorsement from Vaporware Inc.,the legendary Silicon Valleysoftware publisher (famous for it's "Spelcheker" program) signed the Murder Club for $1M in endorsements.Trouble was, Claudia, as treasurerof the club, negotiated the deal andthen pocketed the dough.Mike caught her, agreed to a splitbut got greedy and planned to bumpher off in her room with a bomb in Claudia's toilet. Sydney, lucky for him Agatha'spoodle could swim so all wasforgiven.poisoned Venezuelan beaver cheese.Yes, little Alfie Picklewhite grew up to be Lord Peter Flimsey. wine gums?Intellivision makes a great door jam.Your Osborne needs dusting.Your pornware is disgusting.You've eaten all the Alphabits.Who's on third?What did Vapo That headline in "High Society" gaveit all away. Flimsey's brother won"Best Moose Costume" years ago whenour suspects were up-and-coming mystery writers. Sydney Meanstreet was driving his Rolls Royce late one evening when his headlights failed to cut through thealcoholic haze and he hit a moose.At least what he thought was a moose. In fact it was a young 'Pooftah' named Nigel Flimsey and his dateNeville St. Claire -- dressed up asa moose. They were returning from acostume party when they were run overby Sydney's Silver Crowd. Local authorities were momentarily perplexed but wrote off the accident as an insoluble hit-and-run. But Lord Peter Flimsey never forgot and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear To that ages' old question. "Whyshoot the piano player?" Claudiacould only respond: "Because thatpiker Flimsey stole my plot to "The Mystery of the Leaping Fish."I didn't say anything at firstbecause I thought it stunk. Butafter he won the award for it, Ihad to have my revenge, didn't I?My boyfriend Mike helped set it upin the Hall.t it was a young 'Pooftah' named Nigel Flimsey and his dateNeville St. Claire -- dressed up asa moose. They were returning from acostume party when they were run overby Sydney's Silver Crowd. Local authorities were momentarily perplexed but wrote off the accident as an insoluble hit-and-run. But Lord Peter Flimsey never forgot and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear Art's what you make it. That's whatStammer figured too when he gaveFlimsey that paint by numbers phoneyFlimsey the world's most famous colour blind art collector (& a real gaudy dresser) had hired Stammer's agency to locate the "Missing Monet" Mike blew the advance but I guess hestill had a head for numbers.Claudiaverified the "find" in her "Art OfHigh Society" review and staked herreputation on it. By next morninghundreds of identical "finds" had surfaced in hobby shops & rec rooms everywhere. Mike admitted the hoax but Claudia was ruined. Suspecting Flimsey commissioned the work to set her up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear Agatha sure clucked Mike lastFriday. He never felt more foolishthan when he walked into theballroom with his chicken costume on. 100 stares from 100 formally dressed socialites! Mike was absolutely outraged that Agatha would pull a practical jokeof such magnitude on him. He couldstand the itching powder but notthis.However, Mike straightened out hisruffled feathers and plannedrevenge. He set up a meeting withAgatha in the library where hewould turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoax but Claudia was ruined. Suspecting Flimsey commissioned the work to set her up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear Claudia's designer clothes werea lucrative sideline. But she'dripped off Stammer's original ideaof "Mike's Mysterywear", squeezed him out and now reaped the rewards.Mike was steamed and set up aMidnight Murder in his room wherehe was going to jab her jodhpurswith a carving knife.stand the itching powder but notthis.However, Mike straightened out hisruffled feathers and plannedrevenge. He set up a meeting withAgatha in the library where hewould turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoax but Claudia was ruined. Suspecting Flimsey commissioned the work to set her up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear Perhaps the most confounding caseof my career. Certainly it waseasy to figure Sydney was to bethe victim--the insults he was rehearsing for his appearance on the Joan Rivers show were not well received by the other members of the Murder Club.But who would shut the motor mouth?Each had a motive but it was finallydecided by secret lottery andClaudia's number came up. All shehad to do was get Sydney intoAgatha's room at Midnight and "blow his mind."ld turn her into swisscheese with his 38 special.dmitted the hoax but Claudia was ruined. Suspecting Flimsey commissioned the work to set her up she vowed revenge. "I'llmake him see red in the hall witha gun."got and he vowed to avenge Nigel's deathon the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear Mike Stammer--a face only a mothercould love. Agatha was old enough tobe his Mom. But none of the other"sleuths" guessed it. None knew ofher secret and miserable marriage to Sydney. Agatha blackmailed Sydney into silence years ago and Mike Maypole went off to the foster home. Sure Mike noticed she was always fixing his hair and trying to feedhim sandwiches but never guessedshe was his mother! Then Aggy's brother Morristhe movie mogul left a cool millionin her trust to his long lostnephew. Sydney demandeda cut so Agatha decided to prune thefamily tree, Sydney-wise a la knife, patio style. She'd keep Mike in the dark and buy up all her own books to get back on the bestseller list. What a Mother!Have you ever been on a forklift ride?Hear Professional jealousy's an ugly wordbut then so is murder! Oh Claudiadidn't care about Sydney's hugesuccess with his two line rhymes. She was interested in the big stuff- three lines or more-the type of writing that seemed to come so easily to Agatha. Success, money, fame--she hated her for it.The fake scheme to oust Sydney fromthe mystery club was just to lureAgatha to the library at midnight.She was even bringing her own gun!Agatha would be an accomplice tomurder all right. Her own!phew. Sydney demandeda cut so Agatha decided to prune thefamily tree, Sydney-wise a la knife, patio style. She'd keep Mike in the dark an buy up all her own books to get back on the bestseller list. What a Mother!on the patio with the gun. forklift ride?Hear This silly scenerio had me sunk fora second. Clearly Claudia could havekilled any convenient chump. Seemsshe was murderously mad that male members of the murder club outnumber the females. So.. poison one on the patio and plop them into the pond, prevent them from bobbing with bricks in their britches. Why Peter? It was a decisiondetermined by the disposal dilemma.Without a fork lift how could sheflip Sydney into Loch Ness? Stammerwas a bit too heavy and besides,that pig would dirty her gown. But puffy Flimsey would practically float over the wall. The kind of crime she could carry off.style. She'd keep Mike in the dark an buy up all her own books to get back on the bestseller list. 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